Choices

I really am in paradise. This is the most beautiful place in the world. People are friendly. The food is delightful.  Sweet cats and dogs roam freely. But the night is a challenge.

Last night I came home to discover a foot long gecko beside my toilet. I was startled, and a bit freaked out. Sounds of other creatures filled the air, and my new roommate showed no sign of departure. Needless to say, sleep did not come easily. Doubt flooded over me , as I wondered if this was a good choice; the right choice. I spent the night hovering in and out of consciousness, trying to allow the jungle music to feed a sense of ease, rather than anxiety. 

As the sun began to rise, I pulled my mosquito net up, glanced around for any visitors and climbed out of bed. My heart and mind felt at ease, my internal light within lifted by the external light. I opened my door and stared out at the vast ocean before me and with the ripples of the ocean the second thoughts that had flooded my mind hours before washed away, melting into the sea. Purified by the salty blanket before me, I am ready for another day of bliss, and challenge.

Even life-long dreams in paradise come with their share of difficulties. This is part of what makes our experiences worth while, and beneficial in the present moment and beyond. I know the nights will continue to frighten, intimidate, and challenge me, some more full of jungle visitors than others, but each morning is a new moment.  Time to be grateful for the struggle and the conquest-however small.

The breeze is gentle, the water crystal, clouds wispy, cicadas roaring, the sun shining; this is where I am. This is where I'm meant to be.

Today's MOL: the feeling beyond acceptance to contentment, as I feel confident in the struggles and joys in this very moment.

Picture: Top: my gecko friend and the morning rejuvenation. Bottom: exploring paradise and my new hammock for my home!