Homestay in Mae Kampong

In between Rock Climbing at Crazy Horse and zip lining in the rainforest,  I did a homestay in a little rain-foresty village.  The food was fantastic,  views beautiful and the company kind. My host had a 13 year old daughter named Wan. She and I had a blast trying to talk about things we love, her favorite being nature :) The people were all incredibly friendly,  and I regretted more than ever not making an effort to learn some basic Thai before my trip began. Wan taught me to say hello and thank you, which are actually pretty sufficient in many situations!  There were peacocks and roosters galore in the town, as well as many stray dogs and a pet cat at my home! I had my own room that was very confortable. I would have liked to interact with the family more, but it was definitely a wonderful experience. 

My. Favorite. Cafe. EVER

The Birds Nest Cafe sounds like something I would absolutely love, and it didn't disappoint.  While I waited for my curry dish and cinnamon cocunut smoothie,  I read in a hammock. Then I jumped to one of their cushy floor nooks to eat and continue my book. If that doesn't sound like heaven to you, we probably aren't friends ;)

Let in the light: The perfect beginning

Disclaimer: blog updates are coming from my cell phone and with limited internet use, don't judge my style :)

I left my Chicago apartment at 6:30 p.m. On Sunday. I arrived at my friend's apartment in Chiang Mai at 4:30 p.m. Thai time on Tuesday.  (4:30 a.m. Chicago time). While Katie isn't here, I'm so lucky to be using her space, stealing her great suggestions and meeting some of her wonderful colleagues.

Despite the long travel time, the mountains of Chiang Mai instilled the same energy that a perfect night's rest would have.

I started by getting coffee with two wonderful folks from Kate's work at the climbing company.  Then I did some bouldering (I mean, I was already there how could I pass it up?) After settling in to Katie's place and rinsing the airplane off me, I cautiously wandered around the narrow, windy roads to a delightful vegetarian cafe.

I enjoyed the peaceful rain as it vacilated between timid pitter-patter and booming footsteps. The food was devine. Lime, mint, pineapple smoothie,  brown rice with all sorts of deliciousness and organic salad. Num num.

I then got first, and most certainly not last, Thai massage. I don't think anything could have been more perfect. 

Despite the heavy rains and low thunder,  the light kept bursting through. Filling my jeart with a lift and reminding my spirit why I am here. What a day!

Chasing Dreams

"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

9 years ago I took a yoga class for a PE credit at the University of Vermont. It had been recommended to me by the counseling center to help deal with some anxiety, stress and depression I was experiencing. 

18 months ago I made the decision to find a yoga instructor training program to participate in this Summer. I began taking the necessary steps to be physically, mentally and financially ready for such an undertaking. My goal was clear, but far from simple: learn yoga. Learn so I can share this life-changing joy with others. Learn so I can help spread peace, love and light. Learn so I can take this experience within myself to an undiscovered level. 

9 months ago, after months of internet searching and conversations, I found Blooming Lotus Studio on a little island in the Gulf of Thailand. For four weeks, along with 18 other committed yogis, I will be fully immersed in yoga practice, meditation, reflection and studying.

Today I begin my journey toward this new experience. I embark with an open mind, lifted heart and eager spirit. This first leg of journey I have only the butterflies in my stomach and words on my nook to keep me company. I cannot say I move forward without fear, but I am certainly prepared to taste this new chapter of my life. To allow it to flood into my soul, 

one. 

     moment. 

           at. 

               a. 

                 time.

Am I ready? 

Financially? Yes. 

Physically? I think so. 

Mentally? Not quite. But expecting that I cannot expect what's to come tells me that I'm as ready as I can be. 

Namaste.

happy or sad, Restoration is Key

Now and again, it is necessary to seclude yourself among deep mountains and hidden valleys to restore your link to the source of life. Breathe in and let yourself soar to the ends of the universe; breathe out and bring the cosmos back inside. Next, breathe up all fecundity and vibrancy of the earth. Finally, blend the breath of heaven and the breath of earth with your own, becoming the Breath of Life itself.  ~ Morihei Ueshiba.

One of my favorite yoga instructors, Sharon Wentz, recently shared this quotation during class. The past couple of weeks life has been a bit more stressful than usual, and the sentiment behind these words enveloped my mind when it needed it most. With each breath we are given an opportunity to release, renew and restore ourselves. I found comfort in the thought of secluding my mind and imaging my presence deep within a New Mexican cave with a little fire to stare in to (other settings work just as great, of course). This image allowed my mind to calm down, release the stressors I was clutching and embrace a sense of lightness, space and opening. We are all a part of the Universe, a piece in its infinite puzzle, breathing in with a sense of individualism and breathing out with a sense of unity and oneness. 

Today was miraculous. It was one of those days where every moment I could feel my heart smiling; full of joy, gratitude and light. The stressors I mentioned in the previous paragraph evaporated completely as I spent the afternoon with incredible people, soaking up every ounce of perfect sunshine as it radiated into each and every pore of my body. Even in this juxtaposed moment of bliss, I thought of this need for seclusion. The need to restore my link to the source of life, this time with a focus on gratitude, rather than grounding. Feeling the heat seep into my skin, listening to the sounds of laughter and joy, I felt myself soaring to the ends of the universe and breathing it all in. I held that feeling inside me like a treasure, and as each moment passed another treasure entered my Soul. This life we live, each moment of it, is a treasure. A gem to be appreciated for what it is. 

So during stressful times, moments of pure joy or anywhere in between, I hope you find this idea of mental seclusion and powerful breath grounding and gratifying. Allow it to provide comfort and gratitude, regardless of how you're feeling when you start. Restore your presence in the Universe, and in your Self. 

Weakness.

Often in yoga class, the instructor will invite you to set an intention for your practice. Most commonly, I choose balance, strength or peace. I love these intentions. They truly help ground my practice, keep me focused and allow me get more than just a physical experience. Today however, I chose weakness. 

I have always valued strength.  I recognize the strength in others and try to honor it. We all have battles that we feel we have won, and even when we feel we have lost, our strength builds. To me, that in itself is a type of win. I pride myself on my inner and outer strength. I work continuously with my body and my mind to build up and deepen my strength. This leads me to push myself, often to great heights. This leads me to achieve my dreams. This leads me to inversions and arm balanced I didn't even know were possible. But it also leads me to pain, sometimes without me even realizing it.

I realized today, that while I do not think I have overvalued strength, I have most certainly undervalued weakness. I don't mean weakness than we turn into strength. Not exactly, anyway. Weakness that allows us to say, "Stop." There is great power in actively choosing to stop, whether it's during an asana, saying goodbye, or anything else. I focused my practice on weakness, because I recognized that I needed to allow my body and mind to be weak. I needed permission to ease up. I needed to not only recognize my weakness, but I needed to embrace it. That is where the learning happens. 

I've always viewed weakness and strength as antonyms. Surely the dictionary will concur. But what if we change how we view weakness? Rather than something that needs to be fixed or built upon, why not see it as an opportunity to embrace where we are in that specific moment? That's when I realized, it takes great strength, to name your weaknesses, but it takes even more awareness. We all have them. For some they serve as motivators, others they're destroyers. But when I started to think of weakness as an asset, as a deeper form of awareness than I had previously held, that's when I could truly submerge myself into my practice, both physically and mentally. 

Try setting an intention of weakness. I'd love to hear how it goes.

Breathe in, and awaken. Here's to you, 2013.

Here's my happiness jar on January 1: reading over some of the wonderful moments
 I was fortunate enough to experience, and making space for new ones in 2014.

The new year provides the perfect opportunity to look back and cherish some of the beauty, pain, joy and growth the pervious year provided. This New Year has brought about reflections that are uniquely emotionally charged. I can contentedly declare that 2013 was in fact the best year of my life. The number of people, experiences, conditions and choices that led to this is nearly innumerable. I feel confident boiling it down to one specific aspect of my life, however.

When I first started doing yoga, I thought it was an energizing way to workout. At the time, I was oblivious to the depth of the journey I was embarking upon. 9 years later, I can say that I have just barely begun to scratch the tip of this beautifully enlightening iceberg through practicing yoga. If there’s one recommendation I’d like to share with others, it is this: practice yoga. Practice with an open mind, heart and spirit and be ready to discover an entirely new being inside of you, that’s been waiting for the space to awaken it. *Give it time.* Let that feeling become you, and let it pass through you, treasure it while it’s there and allow it to disperse. Know that each time you practice it may return if your mind allows the same openness that your body provides. Know that every moment is precious and unique and temporary. That’s what makes it beautiful, that’s what makes it the present. Hold on to the present. It’s the gift that life will always give and it’s so much more than we give it credit for. 2013 was the most powerful year in my yoga journey, so far. Yoga has made me a stronger person both physically and mentally and it has opened my body and mind to new experiences, relationships, dreams and desires. It is my true hope that every person has the opportunity to experience this gift. 

Looking back on 2013, looking forward in 2014, and sitting right here, right now, I have so much I am grateful for. Christmas lights create a warm glow, my Fresh Balsam scented candle is calming and comforting, the persistent leaves still cling to the tree I see through my window, despite the 10"+ of glittering snow surrounding, ice crystals are growing on the window and my stove heater bursts to life. Life is good. Beauty in this moment extends far deeper. My family literally grew in 2013 and will continue to do so in 2014, just when you feel like there couldn't possibly more love, it enters. There is always space for love. I have been blessed with truly the most wonderful group of students, far more wonderful than I could have even dreamed up. My colleagues are fantastic. I spent New Years Eve with 7 of the most incredible women I have ever meant, we have been friends since 5th grade (and some since pre-school), and despite all of our life adventures and international moves have remained the best of friends. I spent time every month with an incredible 13 year old girl who's heart has more room for kindness than any other I've ever encountered. My life is beautiful, with just the perfect amount of imperfection. I often wonder how I came to have everything I have, I don't mean physical possessions but relationships, conditions and strength. I do not understand it, but I do treasure it. I have a feeling 2014 is going to blow me away, but I'm not worried about staying grounded.