When I look back on 2015 I think of a lot of joy, love and laughter. Playing in the mountains with friends. Cooking with family. Swinging with my niece. Backpacking with Mike. Drinking tea each morning. Noticing the sunset each evening. Witnessing a newfound love of learning in a student. Petting a stranger's puppy as we pass on the street. Closing my eyes as the sun shines down, filling me with warmth, light and a sense of renewal.
There's also a hearty mix of stress, anxiety, depression and fear. A conflict with a loved one. Car troubles. Running late. An angry email from a parent. An injury. Traffic.
These feelings are not ones to aim to eliminate. I know I will always experience moments of darkness. I do not aim to change their existence, just as I do not aim to change who I am. I aim instead to change some of my behaviors that conceal my True Self. Some days I meditate, exercise, eat healthy, spend time with people I love and sleep 8 hours. Most days, I don't. This is where my work in 2016 is centered. To give myself the time and space I need to be the loving, compassionate and peaceful person I know in my heart. And I will encourage those I love to do the same for themselves.
To be the best daughter, sister, friend, partner, teacher and me I can be, I must give myself the time and space to be at peace. Take deep breaths. Look at the sky. Listen to the wind. Fill my being with self-love. Sleep. Meditate. Turn my phone off (and leave it out of the bedroom). Hug. Read. Say no (and yes, sometimes). Write.
Pause. Breathe. Remember: I am exactly as I need to be.
Put simply: figure out what you love. Figure out what makes you happy, kind and at peace. Then give yourself the time and space to nourish that aspect of You. There is no better gift you can give yourself, I think many of us know that. But what we all too often refuse to recognize is that there is also no better gift you can give those around you. Being true to yourself benefits us all.
