Weakness.

Often in yoga class, the instructor will invite you to set an intention for your practice. Most commonly, I choose balance, strength or peace. I love these intentions. They truly help ground my practice, keep me focused and allow me get more than just a physical experience. Today however, I chose weakness. 

I have always valued strength.  I recognize the strength in others and try to honor it. We all have battles that we feel we have won, and even when we feel we have lost, our strength builds. To me, that in itself is a type of win. I pride myself on my inner and outer strength. I work continuously with my body and my mind to build up and deepen my strength. This leads me to push myself, often to great heights. This leads me to achieve my dreams. This leads me to inversions and arm balanced I didn't even know were possible. But it also leads me to pain, sometimes without me even realizing it.

I realized today, that while I do not think I have overvalued strength, I have most certainly undervalued weakness. I don't mean weakness than we turn into strength. Not exactly, anyway. Weakness that allows us to say, "Stop." There is great power in actively choosing to stop, whether it's during an asana, saying goodbye, or anything else. I focused my practice on weakness, because I recognized that I needed to allow my body and mind to be weak. I needed permission to ease up. I needed to not only recognize my weakness, but I needed to embrace it. That is where the learning happens. 

I've always viewed weakness and strength as antonyms. Surely the dictionary will concur. But what if we change how we view weakness? Rather than something that needs to be fixed or built upon, why not see it as an opportunity to embrace where we are in that specific moment? That's when I realized, it takes great strength, to name your weaknesses, but it takes even more awareness. We all have them. For some they serve as motivators, others they're destroyers. But when I started to think of weakness as an asset, as a deeper form of awareness than I had previously held, that's when I could truly submerge myself into my practice, both physically and mentally. 

Try setting an intention of weakness. I'd love to hear how it goes.

Breathe in, and awaken. Here's to you, 2013.

Here's my happiness jar on January 1: reading over some of the wonderful moments
 I was fortunate enough to experience, and making space for new ones in 2014.

The new year provides the perfect opportunity to look back and cherish some of the beauty, pain, joy and growth the pervious year provided. This New Year has brought about reflections that are uniquely emotionally charged. I can contentedly declare that 2013 was in fact the best year of my life. The number of people, experiences, conditions and choices that led to this is nearly innumerable. I feel confident boiling it down to one specific aspect of my life, however.

When I first started doing yoga, I thought it was an energizing way to workout. At the time, I was oblivious to the depth of the journey I was embarking upon. 9 years later, I can say that I have just barely begun to scratch the tip of this beautifully enlightening iceberg through practicing yoga. If there’s one recommendation I’d like to share with others, it is this: practice yoga. Practice with an open mind, heart and spirit and be ready to discover an entirely new being inside of you, that’s been waiting for the space to awaken it. *Give it time.* Let that feeling become you, and let it pass through you, treasure it while it’s there and allow it to disperse. Know that each time you practice it may return if your mind allows the same openness that your body provides. Know that every moment is precious and unique and temporary. That’s what makes it beautiful, that’s what makes it the present. Hold on to the present. It’s the gift that life will always give and it’s so much more than we give it credit for. 2013 was the most powerful year in my yoga journey, so far. Yoga has made me a stronger person both physically and mentally and it has opened my body and mind to new experiences, relationships, dreams and desires. It is my true hope that every person has the opportunity to experience this gift. 

Looking back on 2013, looking forward in 2014, and sitting right here, right now, I have so much I am grateful for. Christmas lights create a warm glow, my Fresh Balsam scented candle is calming and comforting, the persistent leaves still cling to the tree I see through my window, despite the 10"+ of glittering snow surrounding, ice crystals are growing on the window and my stove heater bursts to life. Life is good. Beauty in this moment extends far deeper. My family literally grew in 2013 and will continue to do so in 2014, just when you feel like there couldn't possibly more love, it enters. There is always space for love. I have been blessed with truly the most wonderful group of students, far more wonderful than I could have even dreamed up. My colleagues are fantastic. I spent New Years Eve with 7 of the most incredible women I have ever meant, we have been friends since 5th grade (and some since pre-school), and despite all of our life adventures and international moves have remained the best of friends. I spent time every month with an incredible 13 year old girl who's heart has more room for kindness than any other I've ever encountered. My life is beautiful, with just the perfect amount of imperfection. I often wonder how I came to have everything I have, I don't mean physical possessions but relationships, conditions and strength. I do not understand it, but I do treasure it. I have a feeling 2014 is going to blow me away, but I'm not worried about staying grounded.